Song of the Day: Local H – All The Kids Are Right

Jordan Posner recalls: Man, fuck teenagers.

I’m sure that there is a statistically insignificant portion of Rocknuts readers that are teenagers, but I’m willing to alienate them. Fuck you guys. Your primary job seems to be making people that aren’t that old (me) feel absolutely ancient. Why are you and your friends so happy and excited to be on a city bus? I mean, it’s good that we have a mass transit system, but it’s still a city bus. Just put your headphones in  and scowl like everyone else. What is there to smile about? It’s a rough job market, and you have literally no skills.

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But mostly it hurts because I remember being that carefree. Not to say that teenagers don’t have problems. I mean, algebra is–they don’t. They don’t have problems. All the things I thought were a big deal in high school turned out to be completely insignificant. That’s why teenagers have to create problems. It’s no coincidence that most insufferable-type hipsters get their start while in their formative teenage years. This fertile time period breeds relentless and merciless criticism.

Local H, a band that has been traversing the Chicago rock scene and beyond for quite a few years, has certainly seen their share of disaffected young fans. Just like with any local group that suddenly gains a bit of a national following, the so-called “die-hard” fans are the first to completely disown them.

The problem is, you want a group to be successful because you like them. But once they become successful, they’re not your group anymore, and your band suddenly becomes like a time-share. In order for it to be sustainable, you have to share it with a bunch of random weirdos.

Here’s my take on Local H’s message here: I think that some young music fans are not mature enough to process the objective success of a group they like. Because a band’s ascension into a higher level of notoriety necessarily diminishes each fan’s “personal” experience, there are a lot of tough decisions being made by these fans. In a lot of cases, it becomes easier to simply convince yourself that you don’t like the band in question anymore, or have some sort of beef with their creative output.

It’s sort of like the Aesop fable where the grapes are really hard to reach, so the guy convinces himself he doesn’t actually want them rather than expend the extra effort.

Local H’s portrait of the fickle audience member probably seems a lot more unfair if you’re in the age group being lampooned. Honestly, I’ve been there. But I’m not there now. Now I’ve abandoned some of my earlier pretenses. A group doesn’t have to be “mine.” I don’t have enough of a stake in any music scene to reasonably expect a group to be “mine.” Also, you can’t own people, thanks to the 13th Amendment. Fucking Obama.

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